(season)

I’ve lost the seasons
Summer does not
mean picnics & barbecues,
(long walks on the beach)
winter does not mean
sitting by the fire
I do the same few
walks year round,
no longer have a
fireplace.
Season comes as
a threat,
summer will bring
heat and ants.
I hurry to get in
the few new plants,
knowing soon I will
not go out at all.
In autumn again
I pressure myself
and nag – put in
bulbs, hurry with
the wildflower seeds
before the rains.
I cannot enjoy
the temperate times
because of the performance
pressure, the necessity
to do things while I
can. In spring I am
fearful because I know
summer is coming,
and I always feel
I will not survive.
Winter I dread a little
less now that I have
heat, still I know I
will be closed up
will take on a bear
coat, get moody on
rainy days, forget
that there is spring.

7/31/99
8/4/99 completed(threat down)