I always saw my life as temporary,
likely to change out from under me
at any second, an uncertainty
which made action impossible,
except for moments when I forgot.

He accused me of living
a discontinuous life.
A word I’d never heard,
but liked.
Referring to buying gas $2 at time,
as though there was no tomorrow.
Often $2 was all I had,
but he was right
sometimes I just wanted to hurry off
with just enough to get me by.

I never seemed to see past the moment,
if I did, I didn’t believe it.
Another guy said I couldn’t remember
yesterday and didn’t believe in tomorrow
which put a lot of pressure on today.

The only thing I ever trusted
was that things changed most
when I hadn’t asked
that they would.

I tried to change these things –
but I have found now is the
place where I can live.
Although I fill it up, in case
and because I have the cash
to do so.

I hope to let the best stuff
and let go of the rest.
But this other thing is still
true –
sometimes my life abruptly
changes its course,
like the river where
I was born.
It is its nature
to do so.
Maybe that’s why
I was born on’
the Mississip,
to live by her
example. I always listed
to other people’s axioms
having a taste
for a succinct phrase –
But the danger is
while they may be true
it may not be true for

(dated 3/25/00 but I think in error)