Did not find
my place
my way.
Left me locked
unable to express
myself fully,
to ever feel seen
or heard.

I thought I
knew my way
but could not
seem to make
it happen
in the world.
It remained
only in my mind
and heart,
until even I
couldn’t remember

Thought I found
my place,
but could not
find a way
to get there
and stay.

So I got by
as best I could
with what I had
at hand.
It was how
I’d learned to live
at an early age.

Never knowing
if any of it was
or just the bitter
fruit of longing.
Because I never
tested it –
the only thing
I knew for sure
was the emptiness
I felt in the things
I had.