2003/regrets

Reading last year’s journals,
lists of intentions,
discouragements, regrets,
confusion.
My life moves slowly,
all but imperceptibly it seems,
despite the speed of time.
I see myself sinking
and throw things overboard,
I start to drift and nudge
myself back on course.
I beat the cargo,
the dead horse of my dreams
and hesitations.
I row the wrong way,
and turn myself
in circles
in circles
in circles.

7/31/03