2004/confusion

I (say it every year)
I repeat myself
but –
I wish they would
leave time alone.
This year is the worst,
I find myself
reading in the bookstore
fifteen minutes before
dinner should be served.
All week you have
yogurt on the run,
while I feel like
a guilty slug-a-bed.
I tell myself
over and over,
“It’s really …..”
But I am suffering
from a kind of dizzy
confusion,
the foggy brain
that my chronic
immune dis-order
brings me back to.
A confluence of events:
The pharmaceutical
company no longer
offers my dosage.
First thing in the morning
I have to slice thin
pills.
It doesn’t work,
specks of energy
I sorely need
sprinkled on the kitchen
counter.
Yesterday’s dental drug
left me trembling
and exhausted.
I can’t make decisions,
figure out plans
my favorite day,
Easter,
is slipping
from my hands.
Illness is gripping
my neck,
its pain radiates
down my spine
and arms.
I am too tired
to hurry
and they have
speeded up time,
which was already
moving too
fast.

4/8/04