2004/re-learn

Re-learning
how (to write)
to hold the
pen lightly
(to write) with ease.
When did I start
gripping the pen
in desperation.
The same time
I started clenching
my jaws in sleep?
When (the) pain became
my omnipresent
companion,
things piled on me
I simply could no longer
carry.
Always so subtle,
these descents,
so arduous to undo,
how to get to the top
of the pile,
to throw off the stones,
where we have buried
ourselves
alive.

3/4/04